Next time you start wanting one of these...

So like everyone else who has seen Japanese Anime in their lifetime, the one thing most recognized in the industry would be the illustrious catgirl. Some worship her for her cute looks, others despise her for being on the same level of what one considers "Furry", but that's a story for another day Ladies and Gents. While I browse various web sites for entertainment and my research of human depravity, I couldn't help but notice that some of these catgirls happened to have four ears.

Immediately my mind began to rattle off questions: Four fucking ears!? Why do they even have four ears? Do all four of them work, or do two of them merely serve to be a fashion statement, cursed to never be removed off of their heads? If the cat ears do work, then that raises a lot of questions, for according to a normal cat biology, the ear canal goes pretty deep inwards, and for the ears to actually have some form of function, the girl would have to have a smaller brain to make room for these ear canals, or the hearing on them is so dismal, that they are effectively worthless in what they are supposed to do to begin with! In the case of the latter, God has played a sick, twisted game on these girls, merely for the sake of nerds to cross their legs while denying the idea of these catgirls having any semblence of sexual attraction to them.

Perhaps I'm looking at the ears all wrong, maybe they don't serve the idea of hearing things, like normal ears tend to do so with humans. Maybe the ears serve some other, unexplained purpose. Maybe they're meant for small storage, where she can store all of her loose change or lipstick, but then this goes back to the whole "ear canal into the skull" tidbit that would shrink their brain to the size of an orange. I would suggest that they serve a sonar-like purpose, but that would suggest the cat ears actually give super hearing like Daredevil instead of being there for show, in which case the human ears would do absolutely fuck-all nothing, which is the point of being half-bloody human to begin with.

After rattling my head on this for a few days, I've come to the conclusion that the purpose they serve is quite nefarious. Every time the rifling little fuzzballs finds a drink, like your trusty Jack Daniels bottle you just bought to let the night disappear, she just shoves it into her ears and watches it go. I'm bloody serious, She could have a small canal going from her head all the way to her stomach, and no one would know the fucking difference until she got plastered with bottles on her head posing for rabbit ears instead while clutching onto more of your secret stash, in which case I think it's time for you to to call the local hospital... or the local Veterinary Clinic, however you prefer to treat your catgirl.



We'll end this little rant here for now. I don't care if you like catgirls, if you hate them, or if you secretly want to go screw one until your pelvis feels like it could shatter in two, having four ears is just ridiculous looking on them. It means either someone has no idea what the point of a catgirl really is, or they're putting these damned nerd traps all over the place for maximum profit. In either case, it has earned the honor of being the very first post on the Fiefdom of Hate, and for that, I despise these crafty little wenches and their ear-confusing ways, you attention-whoring, bed stealing bitches.